Sufficient Already – Bike Snob NYC

Sufficient Already – Bike Snob NYC


I’ve obtained a bone to choose with Ms. Greta:

How dare me? How dare you! I believed the planet was boiling and the glaciers had been melting and that by now my youngsters wouldn’t know what snow appears to be like like and I’d be dodging falling coconuts in February. But this winter’s kicking the crap out of us. So what offers!?!

Yeah yeah, I do know what you’re going to say. “That’s not how local weather change works!” Oh, spare me. I WAS PROMISED A SEARING-HOT FUTURE AND THAT’S WHAT I WANT!!! I’m uninterested in icy winds, and frozen, blighted landscapes, and squinting because the snow cowl redirects the rays of the solar straight into my retinas:

Oh, don’t get me fallacious, I’m making the very best of it. When the paths are frozen and I’m heading out on the Roadini:

And when the snow is deep and the roads are a multitude I’m on the market on the be-fendered Homer:

However the older I get the extra interminable the winters appear. Maybe I must retire to some biking paradise with a gentle local weather, just like the Mediterranean, or Frederick, MD:

The place “On a regular basis Ray” has ridden his bicycle each single day for over seven* years:

*[Note to Intern: check that math.]

So is he possessed of an unusual fortitude? Or is Frederick merely a biking paradise?

Oh, and in case you’re questioning, On a regular basis Ray owns six bikes, and certainly one of them’s a Seven:

So I assume you would say he’s all sixes and Sevens.

Sorry.

In any case, neither snow nor rain nor warmth nor fool motorist stays this Frederick Fred from the swift completion of his appointed experience:

Good for him, and lengthy could he cycle–although it does happen to me that there is no such thing as a simpler partner to cuckold than a bike owner, given our completely reliable each day disappearances. In actual fact, a few of us even share our precise location always to make it even simpler!

And but few of us suppose to do the identical with our bikes, although it’s most likely not a foul thought:

Apparently an AirTag led police proper to the placement:

I used to be after all extra involved in studying about this “one-of-a-kind bicycle,” which turned out to be a Pivot Firebird:

I’m completely out of it with regards to suspension bicycles, so I headed over to the Pivot website to see what it was all about:

I rapidly realized that that is the best bicycle in case you’re trying to don a full-face helmet and hump the watermelon:

I additionally watched this extremely informative video:

From which I realized the Firebird boasts a trunnion-mounted something-or-other that appears just like the bike has an oil derrick in its crotch:

I don’t know what any of these phrases imply, however presumably the factor within the center is the Johnson rod:

I assume I’ve vehicles on the mind since I’ve been trying to diagnose a test engine mild on my growing older four-wheeled inside combustion recumbent, and I’ve gotten about so far as getting the code:

This narrows it down significantly, since primarily based on my analysis this code can imply something from the fuel cap is simply too unfastened to the engine’s about to blow up. So naturally I’ve tightened the fuel cap and am hoping for the very best, as a result of if it’s something extra difficult than that then I’m out of my depth.

Fuck it, I’m leasing a Hyundai

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